A page for funny things ballroom members and instructors say. Note: There may be embellishments/faulty memory. Also, if there's ever anything you want taken down or put up, just let us know. Everything is anonymous on this page.

Fall 2015
At practice....
Person1: Person2! How you doing!
Person2: I'm doing great! It's Tuesday. And the reason why I'm here is because I need a break. I'm taking my GRE on Friday.
Person1 (pre-med): Wait. What. Shouldn't you be studying??
Person3 (pre-med): Shouldn't you be studying?
Person4 (COS major): Oh, Friday? But that's so far away!

Spring 2015
Rocky Study Break
Person 1: Hey Ballroom! Help move bubble teas tonight and you'll jump the line and get one!
Study Break time. one little, two little, three litttle ballroomers, four little five little six little......12 members in all showed up
Person1: Why are there so many of you?!?
Person2: You promised bubble tea! We're going to help!
Person1: But there's only six crates!
Person3: And 3 packets of straws!
Later. Line finishes, 40 bubble teas left.
Person4: Can we take extras?
Person1: Take as much as you want.
Person 1 looks to his right for a bit
Person1: WTF? That's 12 bubble teas you're cramming in a crate!
Person2: You need to have more situational awareness around you Steven! It took you 15 seconds for you to notice that!o

During Latin Practice
Person1: Person2, How do you do this?
Person2: For starters, none of that tricep stuff that you're doing.

Fall 2014
While chilling in someone's room
Veteran: What's uh, the comp in uh, London? That big one?
Newbie: Blackpool.....?
Veteran: Yeah! That one!
Veteran2: Wtf, how did you forgot that?

On someone's blog regarding International Orientation, which, I taught a ballroom dance class.
"I went with a couple of friends to a morning ballroom dance class. As usual, there were far more girls than guys so I spent the hour being “Nathan” -a boy whose voice showed that he probably didn’t go through puberty."

At BADC Competition
PersonA: Hey, PersonB?
PersonB: Wassup?
PersonA: So...you know how I'm currently housed with you and two other people?
PersonB: Yeah?
PersonA: Well...the thing is...
PersonB: ???
PersonA: Can I move to this other room/group instead?
PersonB: Why?
PersonA: Because you 3 will be studying orgo, and I want to party, stay up late eating pizza and watching movies.
PersonB: #Orgostruggles. kk.
At Lesson
Instructor: So, Person1, when doing quickstep, and you just did quick-quick, what do you do after that?
Person1: Uh...slow?
Instructor: Right, but....?
Person1: You mean?
Instructor: Like, heel-toe or toe-heel?
Person1: Going backwards? Toe-heel? What else would you do?
Instructor: Nono, um, going forwards.
Person1: Heel-toe!
Instructor & Everyone: [facepalm].
Person1: OH shit! Toe-Heel! Toe-Heel!!

At Advanced Lesson
Instructor: Alright boys, let's see you dance alone, basic alignments!
Boys Dance Basic alignments.
Instructor: Beautiful! Much better! You're gathering your weight, moving actively, fantastic! Ladies, partner up with them please.
Boy & girls dance together
Students: .....[chirp chirp].....
Instructor: AGAIN!

At Dinner

Person1: So, from Dance Camp, I've had a100% success rate! My partner on the other hand...
Person2: Not a single one has stayed! Wah!!
Person3: 100%? What about [name redacted]? Or [name redacted]?
Person1: Ehh.....They paid dues! That's what matters! They might not have stayed past first semester, but they paid team dues!

Classical Music Hour Collaboration (live music + ballroom dancers!)
A fast waltz/slow VW is playing live. Persons1 and 2 are dancing together.
Person1: Shit!
Person2: I know! What is this?! A fast waltz or a slow Viennese?
Person1: I don't know! Both! What do you want me to do?
Person2: What do you mean what do you want me to do? You're the leader! Lead damn it!
Person1: Okay, let's try waltz.
try waltz.
Person1: Okay, that completely messed up. Let's try VW instead
try VW.
Person2: Stop stepping on my toes!
Person1: Sorry! Not my fault this music has such bad tempo!

A "rumba" is playing
Audience: Wow! Look at them! They look so legit!
Person1 (dancing): oh god. oh gawds. What the hell do I do? Where's the beat?
Person2 (watching): snicker.
Person1 walks off the floor. Person2 greets him
Person2: How was it? Like that musical beat?
Pesron1: I couldn't find it at all! I danced better freshman year at Dance Camp than I did now!

Pickups. The game being played is where a person has to pop a balloon. Inside the balloon is a piece of paper with an action written on it.
Person1: Attempts to pop balloon but unsuccessfully.
Person2: TRY AGAIN!
Person1: GRAWR! Balloon pops. But the paper, instead of floating out, is stuck inside the rubber
Person2: Where's the paper?
Person1: It's in here, I guarantee it!
Person3: That's what she said!

Office Hours. Week After Dance Camp. They learned Samba in the first lesson of the week.
Person1: Hey! You! How do you do this move?
Person2: Which move?
Person1: The POLKA!
Person2: ....what? the Polka..?
Person1: Yeah, we learned it in samba!
Person3: What the hell is the polka?
Person2: You mean...bota Fogos?
Person1: No, Polka!
Person2: Traveling Voltas?
Peson1: YES
Person3: .....O_o

Spring 2014
Dead Week
Person1: What's your major?
Person2: I'm ORFE. I'm thinking about doing financial work, Wall Street type of stuff.
We all watch Wolf of Wall Street. After 3 hours.
Person2: Oh my god. So many strippers. Nope, nope, not wall street anymore.

Seniors Reminiscing.
Story 1
Person1: So...I remember it was right after Drag Ball. I was walking back to my dorm and I walk across a printer! I look up, and it looks like it was thrown out of a window! So, of course, I call PSafe. Except, when I tell him where my dorm is, he doesn't even know where it is! So, I know that he's probably new on the job, his first time here. So I wait around, and the officer comes along eventually. And the funny thing is, when he checks who last used the printer, it shows up as being [name redacted, but it's a member of ballroom]. To which, it's incredibly funny since that [person] is the last one who would lose his/her head and toss a printer out. Eventually, what happened is that the officer deemed that it was impossible for that person to have tossed the printer out on the basis of being too physically weak.

Story 2
Person1: So, it was our first comp (Princeton Comp), and we were doing waltz. The thing is, up until then, no one had told us what line of dance was. So we began by going clockwise instead of counterclockwise, and we found it really weird that all the couples were going against us. So, halfway through, we did a 180 turn and started going with everyone. And we even made the callback!

Before Sushi Palace Dinner. Waiting for bus, Group looks at Ballroom Photoshoot photos.
Person1: Damn! [looking at photo]. Look at that sexy dress! That is one fine foxy ass!
Everyone Else: .......
Person1: Oops. Did I say that aloud?

At Spring Photoshoot
Person1: So I had this dream where I was at a competition, and my partner turned into a plane.
Person2&3: ????
Person1: And the thing is, I got really angry at him! Because he was supposed to turn into a car and just run people over!
Person4: I find it interesting that your partner actually has a pilot's license.

At Lesson
Person1: So this is how you do this exercise. You make love to the wall.

At Lesson
Person1: So I saw this person lean over between our chairs in this black velvet bathrobe at the competition, and I went, "damn, who is this hottie?" And I was so surprised because I would never have imagined [Person2] in such a thing!

MIT Ballroom Competition 2014 Trip
Heading Home. Minivan.
Person1 (Driver): I really, really, really need to go pee. Drives by past 4 rest stops and exits.
Person2: Person1, you understand that unless you get off right here, we're going to be going on the Turnpike, which means we have to pay to get on again.
Person1: Oops. Okay. Drives off. Enters extremely sketchy neighborhood.
Person2: This is super-sketch....
Person1: Let's park there! Sign says Valet Parking, no Person present. Parks in Spot. ValetPerson suddenly appears out of nowhere. Big man, gruff.
ValetPerson: Excuse me. What are you doing?
Person1: Uh...we can park here right?
ValetPerson: No. This spot is the Boss's.
Person2: the Boss?
ValetPerson: The Boss.
Person1: Oh. Oops. Sorry. Didn't realize that! I just wanted to go pee! Drives off before ValetPerson can say anything else.

Day 2. Heading Home. Person1's cellphone rings.
Person1: Hello?
Person2: Help.
Person1: What's wrong?
Person2: I need to know what Electrode evolves from?
Person1: .......
Person2: Please! HELP! I have to hang up soon!
Person1: I'm supposed to know this how and why.....[click].....[dialtone].
Person2: .....
Person3: You know, Person1, I could have told her it was Voltorb.

Day 2. 5:55AM.
Person1: fumbles groggily from sleeping bag on the floor. sits up, reaches across to turn off alarm.
Person2: zzzz.....hrm....? Sees Person1's face two inches from his face. WAHHHHHHGHGHAGHAGHHHHH!!!!!
Person1: Oh shut up you. I'm trying to turn off the alarm.
Person3: What's wrong? What happened?
Person2: Person1. Oh my god. HIs face. Too close. Lips. Too big.
Person1: go back to sleep.

Day 1 Evening. Walking to dinner. Pokemon.
Person1: How do you not know the types of pokeballs?
Person2: What do you mean? Ultimate Ball is one of them isn't it?
Person1: Nope.
Person3: Don't forget, there's orange ball. Blue ball[s]. Black ball. Big Ball. Giga Ball. Mickey D Ball.
Person4: .....
Person2: WHAT?

After Day 1's competition, team is in frat house zzz'ing.
Host: Hey, did someone ask for a pitcher of ice? (A full pitcher of nothing but ice).
Person1: Wuh? (groggy).
Host: I'm just going to leave this here.
Person2: zzzz.....

Arrival Night. Frat House Party is underway. With everything that goes with a party. Person2 and 3 walk into sleeping area, soaked.
Person1: Why are you two (Person2 and 3) absolutely wet?
Person2: Because....we jumped in the pool.
Person1: What?
Person3: Yeah! The pool!
Person1: How big was this pool?
Person2: A kiddie pool.
Person1: .....Don't get sick.

At some Org Meeting. Persons 1, 2, 3 talking.
Person1: So, you know that team dress that I wear? Well, it smelled absolutely disgusting. I even paid $35 to get it dry cleaned, but it still smelled disgusting .So what my mom and I did was we filled an entire bathtub with Woolite, and now the entire dress is clean and it smells like Woolite!
Person2: Guys don't have to worry about this.
Person1: Oh, and only 3 sequins fell off!

Harvard Ballroom Competition 2014 Trip. Person1 and 2 are same gender.
Person1: "Did you know my mom thinks I like you?"
Person2: "I'm clearly not doing a good job unless I make my friend's mom question his sexuality."

At Pho Restaurant
Person1: "Use your chopsticks to eat your noodles!"
Person2: "I am!"
Person3: "No you're not! You're just stabbing the noodles and winding them up"
Person2: "My chopsticks are split!"
Person1&3: "......" [Chopsticks actually haven't been broken apart."
Person2: "oops."

At Chinese Restaurant eating some duck.
Person1: "Is that piece of meat the butt?"
Person2: "Does it matter?"
Person1: "Well, I find that when I eat duck meat and it's the butt, the butt tastes very butty."

On the Bus Ride home.
Person1 bought a ticket for April 20th instead of April 6th. Person2 was trying to save a seat for Person1 so they could program COS.
BusMan: "Son, is someone sitting here?"
Person2: "..."
BusMan: "Son, is someone sitting here?"
Person2: "Well, uh..., it's for the uh..."

In Class
Person1: Where are your glasses?
Person2: Someone broke them. [glare at Person3].
Person3: Please. My butt was so awesome the glasses just split in half. It was too awesome to look at.
Person2: More like your mass just crushed them. Fatty.

Practice before UPenn
Person1: See, I have type A-FUCKING HAIR!!!
Person2: ......?
Person1: I meant to say A-1. You have A-3.

Facebook Conversation.
Person1 and 2. Person1 and 2 are opposite gender.
Person1: Describe me with adjectives.
Person2: Dedicated. Resourceful. Yummy.
Person1: ???????
Person2: FUCK.
Person1: ????????????????
Person2: Stupid autocorrect. That was supposed to be "ummmm"
Person1: Phew.

Team Dinner
Person1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are all eating. Talking about life, majors, work, the upcoming semester. Then, the talk turns to Ballroom. Logistics, Valentine's Day Ball, newcomers, jackets, etc.
Person1: We can't have 5 ballroom people eating together without the meal turning into an Org meeting.
Persons2&3: [High-Five]

Winter Dance Camp 2014
Person1, 2 are female. Person 3 is male. Both are ballroom team members.
Person1: Look at what I can do! Dances with Person 2. Person 3 is sitting on a bench.
Person3: OWWW!!!!!!
Person1: ????
Person3: You slammed your left heel onto my left big toe.

New York Ballroom Trip
Movie Theater
Person1 reaches for bag of dried mangos.
Person2 (whispers): "Give me some"
Person1: Well then, you try.
Person2: (Opens bag). [CRACKLECRACKLECRACKLE].
Person1: .......
Person2: "They weren't tasty anyway." (A/N: See Wolf and Grapes fable.

Group is walking on sidewalk. Suddenly, Person1 bumps into a stranger.
Stranger: "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!!"
Person1: Uh.....
Group: ...wtf?

At Zhou Shanghai Chinese Restaurant (fabulous xiao long bao and cong you bing)
Person1: Um....has number 85 been called?
Lady Manager (in Chinese): "WHY YOU LEAVE!?! I TOLD YOU TABLE FOR FIVE READY SOON! JEEZ!" (Group left for five minutes to buy some dried mango at nearby shop)
Group: oops....sorry?

Waiter (in Chinese): "What you want to order?"
Person1: Uh...well...
Person2: um......
Waiter: "Fine. Take your time." (turns to take order from another group).

Group is paying the cheque. We give 80 for a total of around 64. Waiter returns 4 dollars.
Person1: Uh...Mr. Waiter? (Waiter doesn't here)
Person2: Uh...Mr. Manager? We should've gotten 10 more dollars in change.
Manager: What? Who served you?
Person3: That dude in yellow!
Lady manager (in Chinese): "What's going on here? Get these people to hurry up out of their seats. Other people need to be served!"
Manager: "I would, but it's 10 dollars that they're wanting back!"
Lady Manager: "TEN DOLLARS????"
Manager: "You! Waiter! Get over here right now and sort out this mess!" (we pointed out that waiter to be the one who had taken our check. Manager snatches the waiter's current work, a cheque for another table, and orders him to take care of us. Waiter gets a ten dollar bill).
Person1: Uh...could we have two fives instead of a ten?
Waiter: "Tch." (gives us 2 fives).

At the first practice of the year.
Person1: See! This arching your back by using your hands and feet thing is easy! Person1 is female.
Person2&3: Uh....no it isn't. Person2&3 are male.
Person1: Sure it is! Here, let me support you while you do it.
Person2: [Tries to lift self]...OW OW OW.
Person3: Yeah, I don't have the upper arm strength to do this.
Person4: What are you guys doing? Oh, that? Pft. That's easy. Person4 executes move extremely easily. Person4 is female.
Persons2&3: [glare].
Person4: [releases position. collapses on floor.]
Person2: Are you alright?
Person4: Nope. I think I pulled something. Ow ow ow. Can't move. Person4 curls into fetal position and stays there for a few minutes.

Person1&2: [hug].
Person3&4: [hug]. Person1&2 see this.
Person1&2: [Even tigheter, awesomer hug..]
Person3&4: [Extremely tight hug].
Person3: We win. Our hug has more love than yours.

Person1 is leading Person2 in same-sex waltz. Person3 and Person4 are watching.
Person1: Yep, foot goes there. Nope, the other foot now goes there. Nope, wait...
Person3: Pft. Look at them. Don't know what they're doing.
Person4: Agreed.
Person1&2: [execute move correctly]. Person1, having overheard Person3&4 mocking, proceeds to give both the middle finger.
Person1 later says she meant to give an "L" for "Loser sign." Persons3&4 to this point do not believe her.

Fall 2013

During Dinner at Wu-Wilcox in November 2013. Persons 2-5 are eating. Person1 sneaks up on Person2 and begins tickling ferociously.
Person2: Stop! Stop!
Person1: Nuh-uh!
Person2: What did I ever do to you!?!
Person1: Everything!
Tickles so hard Person2 actually falls out of chair onto floor.
Person2: No! Nuh-uh! Your hands don't get to go down there! No! Stop! Don't put your hands up there either! Stop going for my boobs! (Note: Person2 is male, Person1 is female).
Person3: No! Not the man-boobs! Anything but the man-boobs!
Person4and5: .......[eat food].......
After Person1 stops tickling Person2
Person2: Person1, I know I have a fabulous pair of man-boobs. Unfortunately, no matter how much you touch them, your's simply won't get any better. Life just doesn't work that way.

During Practice in November 2013
Newcomer1: So....how are the Harvard and MIT ballroom teams?
Senior1: Harvard is flowery. MIT is technical.
Newcomer1: ?
Senior1: Harvard tries to cover up their weakness and mistakes. MIT focuses on your technique and drills the fundamentals into you.
Newcomer1: And what are we?
Senior1: Both.

Before Practice in November 2013 in MPR
Person1 and Person2, along with bystanders. Person1 start punching Person2
Person2: Are you punching me....in the abs?
Person1: Yes. [punchpunchpunch].
Person2: .....Why?
Person1: Because I hear they're really flat and awesome, and I want to see if they're as strong as people say they are.
Bystanders: .........

During Practice in late November 2013, before Elections.
Newcomer1: So, what's the Executive Board?
Senior1: The purpose of the Board is to make all the major decisions regarding ballroom.
Newcomer1: Do you guys disagree often?
Senior1: Nope. We get along pretty well. Unlike the Boards at Harvard, where there's a lot of drama and fighting.

On the DCDI Trip in November 2013. Dinner at Potbelly's.
Newcomers: So...where are you guys (Seniors) going to do after school?
Seniors1and2: Applying to graduate school.
Newcomers: Cool. So like....Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Duke?
Senior1: Harvard, yes. Stanford, yes. Chicago, yes. MIT. HA! HAHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHA! No. No. No. Never. (Senior1 is physics major).
Newcomers: Why not?
Senior1: I would die at MIT.

In the Host's home.
Host (shirtless, with washboard abs): Hey, do one of you guys mind spraying tan for me?
Newcomers: Tan? Huh?
Veteran1: Sure!
Everyone goes to bathroom to see what spray tan looks like. Veteran1 begins spraying with the spraycan.
Host: Try to go for a nice even coat.
Host's back is blotchy, with uneven lines and dripmarks all over. Veteran1 beckons for paper towels.
Everyone but Host: Uh.......
Host: How's it going? Does it look alright?
Everyone but Host: ..........

After the DCDI Trip.
Newcomer1: Hey. I heard that the dude you guys stayed with was an awesome dancer. Was he like a marshmallow? I also heard that he was shirtless and hot.
Newcomer2: Yes, and yes.

During Practice in October 2013
Newcomer1: Half the reason I joined ballroom was to wear awesome clothes. Every Sunday is dress-up day. And I want those penguin suits with the fancy coattails. They're not just penguins. They're SUPER PENGUINS!
Everyone: .....

In October 2013
Newcomer1: What is dancing with Werner like? (Person never been to Werner lesson)
Newcomer2: Ohmygods....dancing with Werner is like....like.....(dreamily looks off into the distance).
Newcomer1: Like?
Newcomer2: A....Greek-god...marshmallow.
Newcomer1: (skeptically): A Greek-God marshmallow?
Newcomer2: Yeah! His frame is so soft, yet so good. He's so fluffy, yet bouncy!

Newcomer1 later asks Newcomers 3 and 4, both followers, if dancing with Werner is like dancing with a Greek-God marshmallow. He received two dreamy, far-off looks. Hence, Werner is known as Chief Marshmallow. For any ballroom leader or follower to receive peer-designation as marshmallow is one of the highest achievements attainable in Princeton Ballroom. Aim to have a marshmallow frame.